Well hello there!

Its been forever since Ive posted but no one reads or comments on this so what does it matter lol. Id rather stick to my journal. Lifes pretty good aside from finances and love but hey...thats everyone right? Just enjoying this beautiful weather and the many blessings Jehovah provides me. XO

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

There is no healing without help.
There is no power as potent as possibility.
There is no transformation without truth.
There is no change without vulnerability.
There is no beauty without struggle.
There is no statement like your life.
There is no end.
There are only beginnings

just say it

Rule #1:
If you open this you take it.
Rule #2:
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone comments and asks.
Answer True or False

Q: Kissed someone on your friends list? tru
Q: Been arrested? false
Q: Do you like anyone? True
Q: Held a snake? true
Q: Been suspended from school? true
Q: Sang karaoke? true
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? true pshhhh tooo true lol
Q: Laughed until you started crying? true
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? true
Q: Kissed in the rain? true
Q: Sang in the shower? true
Q: Sat on a roof top? true
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? True
Q: Broken a bone? false
Q: Shaved your head? false
Q: Played a prank on someone? true
Q: Shot a gun? true
Q: Donated Blood? false

LAST PERSON.
1. You hung out with? Amber Pittman
2. You texted? Jonathan Peloquin
3. You were in a car with? my uncle Sean O'Keefe
4. Went to the movies with? Amber !
5. Person you went to shop with? me myself and I lol
6. You talked on the phone? Ashden Ras
7. Made you laugh? Danny Bastos
8. You hugged? Sean

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...
1. Sun or moon? moon
2. Winter or Fall? Fall
3. Left or Right? right
4. Sunny or rainy? sunny
5. Where do you live? Worcester
6. Club or pub? pub
7. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on? yessir
8. Do you want to get married? more than ppl realize lol
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl
10. What time is it? 9:59 pm
11. Are you afraid of commitment? trust issues? kind of only because I have been hurt alot but I'll always take a chance because I'd rather love and loose than not love at all
12. What is your greatest hope/wish? to be happy and serving Jehovah fully
13. Do you cook? not well
14. Current mood? goofy contenment lol

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU.
1. Kissed someone? nope
2. Sang? always singing lol
3. Listened to music? yesterdat
4. Danced Crazy? always!
5. Cried? today actually first time in a while
6. Liked someone you can't have? pshhh story of my life as of late lol

25 FIRSTS .....
1.Who was your first prom date? didn go
2. Who was your first roommate? Nikki Dornquast
3. What was the first drink you had at college? didn go to college...first drink. A shot at a club and I had no clue what it was lol
4. What was your first job? Securos, Veterinary Orthopedics
5. What was your first car? 96 Pontiac Sunfire RIP Landon James
6. When did you go to your first funeral and viewing? for my grandmother I think like 10 yrs ago
7. Who was your first grade teacher? cnt remember
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Castle in the Clouds NH
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time? to see David
11. Who was your first best friend? Christine Barrios
12. Who was your first Best Friend in high school? Leah Ricci
13. Where was your first sleepover? prolly my grandparents
14. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? haha depends
15. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid or groomsman? no one yet ha
16. What's the first thing you did when you got up this morning? stretcheddddd
18. What was the last concert you went to? Mayday Parade
19. First tattoo or piercing? wrists
20. First celebrity crush? Batman...umm val kilmore i think?
21. Current celebrity crush? haha megan fox? jkkkkkkkkk Russel Crowe
22. First crush? Monty Faulkner
23. Current crush? Johnny <3
24. First dance? with a guy I liked? umm Crystal Bastos grad party - DK <3
25. First time you tied your shoe laces? psh on my moms bed in Grafton no joke I was prolly six or seven and completely euphoric

Five names you go by:
1. Justina
2. Stiny
3. Justinka
4. Kid Larocque
5. kid

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. bathrobe
2. flip flops
3. contacts

Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. fuel efficient car
2. pioneering
3. love

Two things you did last night:
1. cleaned my room
2. stressed about a car

Two things you ate today:
1. work
2. went to test drive a 95 Honda Accord

Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. Ashden
2. Jim Cole

Three things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. Service
2. Work
3. Stress

Two longest car rides:
1. Florida
2. Drivin with someone i didnt wanna be drivin with

Favorite beverages:
1. Caramel Latte
2. Agua

Holy Cannoli! Its been forever since I laid eyes on these...

Probably wondering where these pictures came from. Well, I'm sure everyone remembers Hurricane Katrina which happened in 2005. Relief efforts were organized right away - as we know, Jehovah's People always work fast! In Sterling, Ma - Bro Sponenburg was kind enough to let his facility be used to play a part in the work. Kitchen Associates was the site where kitchen and bathroom countertops were sanded and then shipped via truck down to Louisana, USA. Each month, a group of volunteers got together and sanded their butts off to contribute and play a part. It was an amazing experience and I'm so happy to have been able to share in rebuilding not only the homes, but also the lives of our brothers and sisters. Many friendships were formed and horizons were expanded. Above are pics of us hard at work and of course I look crappy in all of them. lol. Enjoy! John 13:34 I am giving YOU a new commandment, that YOU love one another; just as I have loved YOU, that YOU also love one another. 35 By this all will know that YOU are my disciples, if YOU have love among yourselves.”

If Tomorrow Never Comes...

If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray
The Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time
I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say
"I love you,"
instead of assuming you KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,
I'd be sure it was your best, before it slipped away.

For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance to make everything right.

There will always be another day to say "I love you"
And certainly there's another chance to ask
"Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong, and
today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get to
hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day

that you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss.
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me,"
"thank you" or "it's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no
regrets about today.

A little tid bit before bed...

" You know you're in love when you can't sleep at night because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss

Mosh Posh

" Be a first rate version of yourself rather than a second rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland

So I'm pretty excited. I was invited to go to Alaska this fall and I'm really hoping it works out. I need to jump on getting my passport like ASAP. I want to travel the world! And help people know Jehovah.

One Flesh

The bride was 15 minutes late...but hey! Old habits die hard right? haha never the less it was a beautiful wedding talk and reception Saturday, March 13, 2010. On this day, John Lucas and Elizabeth Holm were bound to each other in front of 250 witneses. Bittersweet of course, as our dear Elizabeth will be departing to Africa after the honeymoon to be an International Construction Servant. What a life! I only wish I could have spent more time with her. Ruth McNab - a sister in my hall - made a good point when she said, "Elizabet has given us a piece of her joy and now she's going to Africa where she will continue to spread that joy and love. We had our turn and now its theirs."


It was actually my first witness wedding ever. We danced til the last song of the evening. (and boy did I feel it the next day! lol) We scrambled around in the rain loading cars and closing up shop. Goodbyes were said and hugs were given as people from all over the world departed. . . Africa, Mexico, and numerous places in the USA brought forth the girls many friends..Bethelites too but of course haha. The famous Trio is broken and I'm sure Joanna will be next but that is life. The show must go on! I wish them all the best.

Ecclesiastes 4 - "Two are better than one...For if one of them should fall, the other one can raise his partner up...And if somebody could overpower one alone, two together can make a stand against him. And a threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two."

When it all falls apart...pick yourself up, both you and your heart.

What do you do when you want to cry
but your tear ducts are dry
and there's just nothing left inside?
When your heart begins to ache because the love you
once shared crumbles and breaks?
Tell me, what do you do?

Torn apart
with a broken heart.
Crushed and bruised,
Done and used.
Wishing I were dead,
Can't escape from my own head.
Why must I live with this unbearable dread?

These scars sealed in ink,
should have taken time to think.
Why did he put me in a fog?
Now I'm looked at like a miserable hog...
Meanwhile he's on to the next one with no regard,
It finally hit me hard.
Gross and sinful but aren't we all?
We each possess faults, some short and some tall.

So ironic that a heart made by man,
when broken is easily repaired.
But a human hurt for a lifetime remains there.



But enough with the sorrow...
Things will be looking up tomorrow.
For I knnow who I am,
and I know where I stand.
NOTHING WILL EVER BREAK ME.
Just watch and you'll see.

Growing Up ...

YOU JUST HAVE TO LEARN TO FORGET THE PEOPLE WHO TO FORGET YOU!

Well, I have to come to the conclusion that there are never drama free days in life. Just different amounts and types. Different people Different situations but always some form of drama. Its something you can never escape. But with Jehovah's help and some good, reliable ears to talk off..it is possible to cope. Eeishhhh vey! Sometimes I just want to move far away!!!!

I think that its truly sad when people don't benefit from Jehovah's discipline and love the first few times around...Its like how can you not appreciate Jehovah's forgiveness enough to keep your nose clean? Granted we all have our set backs but not the same ones over and over again...IDK I'm basically just rambling right now.

Yesterday - Drama and Service. Study and Drama. Baby sitting and Annoyances. Today - Work. Getting ready for the 50's party tomorrow. Oh and Drama! LMBO Along with potential plans for a regular Family study for me and my good friend AP along with plans to relocate and progress and just totally caterpillar into Spiritual Butterflies. BITTERSWEET.

Best thing about life - its never so bad that it can't get worse. - Author Unknown
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. (Charlie Brown) - Charles Schulz
Challenges make life interesting, however, overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. - Mark Twain

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot. - Michael Altshuler
If we're always looking in the rear view mirror it's hard to keep our eyes on the road ahead. - Author Unknown

Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen. - Michael Jordan
It is far more powerful to live your truth than to preach it. - Author Unknown

And after everything I've been through, I still rise.

Life is a precious gift, ove is a wonderful gift, and laughter is glorious gift. So live life to the fullest, love with all your heart, and laugh as much as you breathe.
Life is like a roller coaster; you get jerked one way and another, and you never know whats around the corner, but you just got to enjoy the ride!

life isn't always easy, it's full of tough decisions and heartache,
and things don't always work out the way we hoped.
life just doesn't come with guarantees. and while it's true that sometimes,
by avoiding taking a chance on people, we can avoid some heartache,
we might also miss out on the best times of our life. don't be afraid to love.
No matter how far you go down the wrong road, you can always turn back.

Laugh your heart out. Dance in the rain. Cherish the memories.
Ignore the pain, love and learn, forget and forgive because
You only have one life to live ♥

Say what you feel and do what you want to do.
Regret nothing and don't let people who don't matter
Bring You Down
don't worry about people in your past
there is a reason they didn't make it to your future.

Life is a beauty; admit it. Life is bliss; taste it.
Life is a dream; realize it. Life is challenge; meet it.
Life is a duty; complete it. Life is a game; play it
Life is a promise; fullfill it. Life is sorrow; overcome it.
Life is a song; sing it. Life is a struggle; accept it.
Life is a tragedy; confront it. Life is an adventure; dare it.
Life is luck; make it. Life is too precious; do not destroy it.
Life is life; fight for it.

things change and friends leave but life doesn't stop for anybody
every story has an end but in life every ending is a new beginning

learn from your mistakes but never regret. people change & things go wrong
but always remember life goes on.

live the life you want to live. be the person you want to remember.
make decisions, make mistake, if you fail, at least you tried.

swallow your tears hide your frown
never let life bring you down

life doesn't hurt until you think about it.
who you've lost along the way,
and how much of it was your fault.

pain and suffering ends only when you want it to.
put your past behind you and move forward.
never back down form what life throws in your face.
our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
- martin luther king, jr.
life is like an hourglass
when everything hits rock bottom
all you have to do is wait
for something to come along
and turn it around

people too weak to follow their own dreams
will always find a way to discourage yours.

i don't forgive people because i'm weak
i forgive them because i am strong enough to know
people make mistakes

sometimes you have to experience things for yourself
in order to get through what others have been
telling you all along to do.
you can't change the past


never have regrets.
because at one point; what you did was exactly what you wanted.

People are like dirt.
They can either nourish you & help you grow as a person
or they can stunt your growth & make you wilt and die.


mistakes only make us stronger
who are you to judge the life i live?
i'm not perfect & i don't live to be,
but before you start pointing fingers,
make sure your hands are clean.

Satan Never Sleeps

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.”

“There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.”

“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it”

well ..yesterday was a lovely day but today? not so much drama drama drama...It did end well..I think?

Wouldn't You Like to Know?

How old are you today? 19! Almost done with the teensss

Have you ever dyed your hair? Of courseeee but im letting it go back to my natural color

What is the last movie you watched? Anastatia haha the kids movie

How do you vent anger? Listen to music really loud, get in whatever car i have and speed, call someone or text

What was your favorite childhood toy? ohh thats tough baseball mit and ball

What is on the floor of your closet? shoes boxes laundry basket

What are you most afraid of? Losing my integrity and not being loved

What is your favorite kind of dog? ummm husky or jack russel terrier

Favorite day of the week? I dont have one

You’re offered your own late night talk show. If it were completely up to you, what would you the name of the show to be? "Let me rock your socks off" hahahahaha

Which actor or actress would you want as your first guest? these are all tough questions hahaha Adam Sandler


Can you drive a stick shift? Sadly no but I'm dying to learn.


Which comedian would you want as your first comedy performer? Mitch Hedberg

Which musician or group would you want to be the first musical performer on your show? ben gibbard or city&colour

Which existing song or melody would you select for your theme song if writing something specifically for your show wasn’t an option? Swing Life Away Rise Against

Suppose you could magically go back in time and bring back any performer of any kind, living or dead, to be your first guest: who would you select? Audrey Hepburn!

What's your favorite thing to add vinegar to? um eww

What's something weird you've added to normal food? Im not a fan of putting abnormal things on my food...

Do you think before you speak? I try...but it doesnt always work out so well

Does it make you mad when people stare at you? only if theyre creepers ha

Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you? Not at all. usually im the stranger sayin hello hhahha

Are you listening to music right now? nope

What’s your most memorable dream? i have 2..being pushed into a volcano before my baptism and seeing my mother murdered by my Step dad

How many cell phones have you had in your life so far? 4 or 5

Did your parents spoil you as a child? in a way but we lacked what we truly needed from them :,/

Will this weekend be a good one? Hope so!

What are you craving right now? Zzzzzz's.

Have you cried today at all? um yes actually im so overtired

Would you rather get up early or sleep in? Once Im asleep I like to stay that way.

Do you use chapstick? all the time. gotta keep these puckers soft hehe

Are you wearing shorts at the moment? nope that would be last sunday. yes i know its february ha

What is your favorite thing to shop for? music or accessories

What are you listening to at the moment? ppl being loud

Which is worse – being too hot in bed or too cold? umm both are rough

What is the nearest green object to you? a pic frame

Has anything strange happened to you in the past week? not really

What was the last thing you put in your mouth? hahaha wow .. hehehehehe...sherbert

What was the last picture you took of? me and Kyle Poy

Do you wriggle in bed so much that you wake up facing a different way to how you started? hahaha i used to be like that every night.. you cant even imagine how much of a fidgeter i used to be

Do you like yourself? I'm happy to say I do. Obv always things I would like to change but I know Im decent

Are you a girly girl? pssshh if you only knew me...i can def be but not really ...tomboy at heart

Big or small purses? everythings better when its bigger hahahahahahaha

Who was the last person that you cried in front of? Jenni :b

Have you ever crawled through a window? yesss ahaha i was devious and sneaky ..about a year ago

Does coffee wake you up? Nope.doesnt have the same affect it used to

Look behind you, what do you see? A desk

Have you ever worked in a food place? Yep! I work at Panera haha

Do you wear your seat belt in the car? with the way I crash? hecks yes could save my life

Are you happy right now? almost completely just need a car

What do you normally do last thing before going to bed? pray take contacts out and watch an episode of my fav show on the laptop

Do you hurt anywhere? anywhere? try everywhere!!!

Have you smiled today? yep why i cant remember..ahh yes i was stuffing yummy vietnames food into my mouth hahaha

Have you ever had Mike's Hard Lemonade? oh yes me likee

Do you have an iPhone? psshh overrated crap

What was your biggest night time fear as a child?
my dark closet and the dark

How old will you be in four years? 23.5

How old do people normally guess you are? early twentties

How many windows are open on your computer? 2 google and my blog

Is there any jewelery [sic] you always wear? earrings always

Are you a mean person? i can be without meaning to ..hate that

Would you rather have ice cream or cake for dessert? Ice cream cake.. how bout that

This time last year, do you remember who you were dating? umm no i was actually newly broken up

Have you ever had a recurring dream? yeah one i wish would go away..running away from Cindy

What’s under your bed? roller blades, tennis rackets, storage, shoes

Strung Out

I haven't really had the time to blog as much as I would like to as of late. But here's whats new in the life of a "teenager turned adult too soon".
Working like crazy! My body's aching like crazy! Wishing someone would call me like crazy!!! (Which he hasn't!)Lacking sleep which is making me a wee bit grumpy..well more than a wee bit Bahahahaha Desperately needing some good spiritual sustenance along with a reliable car. Miss being in the ministry every other day :/ Had a great time in Natick last night. Cant wait for the 50's party this Friday. Ummm what else..hmmm lemme think wishing one of my friends would come back to the truth. Me thinks I might be going a little crazy..Well I think that s it. For now. Unbearable Sunday morning at Panera is what I look forward to next. night world love, me

Eishhhhh

Ok while I so appreciate having a job, my body does not.4:30am is the time I will be dragging myself out of bed tomorrow morning and it was 6am today. boy oh boy do I feel like an adult. Hahaha anywho better get cracking on what I need to accomplish before bed since I'll be hitting the hay quite early tonight. Adios Everyone.
Love, Me

Always a kid at heart...

I may be nearly twenty years old but I still enjoy cuddling up in bed with a cup of hot cocoa and watching an old disney classic such as The Little Mermaid. Its the perfect movie day - a dreary grim sky and no plans at all. Although I will be studying shortly and getting ready for my meeting. But after that, I will be back in bed to delight in some more classics. I bid thee farewell. Haha
Love, Me

Ughhh, What's a girl to do?

Now look at us. Now we have drifted away
Into deep, darkened shadows of our life yesterday.

You're no longer in touch. You drifted and went
Into a new life of happiness where you were sent.
But my memories of us will always remain
And at this very moment I still carry your name.

I wish you the best. My love to you, dear.
And I'll hold close those memories of the two of us near

*But now I am moving on...Making room in my heart for someone else

My knees start to shake
When you're in sight
My mind is filled with wonder
My heart with fright.

When will this feeling stop?
When did it start?
How can i listen to my mind,
without breaking my heart?

I'm so confused
What should I do?
I can't think of anything
Except you.

Should I ignore you,
or just give it time?
I can't think straight,
I won't allow this treacherous
heart to control my mind.

I see skies of blue....Louis Armostrong had it right

Hello readers! I'm happy to report that as previously predicted, my week changed for the better. The last three days have been quite exceptional. A little bit of stress of course but what would life be without something to make us whince and complain ? ....oh right! That would be the New System of things hahaha
(Details of the passing time to follow - I promise)
But I should be going as I have a room to finish moving around and organizing...Its quite a project let me tell you!
Ohhhhh btw, buying things off the Internet absolutely sucks! The pictures are positively decieving. "Nothing is as it seems!!!" Hahaha Buyers Beware for as many times as you enter that Debit/Credit Card #, you are being made a fool without even the slightest recognition. Bahahahaha
As Always
Love, Moi

The Ice Is Getting Thinner

We're not the same, dear, as we used to be.
The seasons have changed and so have we.
There was little we could say, and even less we could do
To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you.

We bury our love in the wintery grave
A lump in the snow was all that remained.
But we stayed by its side as the days turned to weeks
And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak.

And when spring arrived
We were taken by surprise when the floes under our feet bled into the sea
And nothing was left for you and me.

We're not the same, dear,
And it seems to me
There's nowhere we can go
With nothing underneath.
And it saddens me to say
But we both know, well, it's true
That the ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.
The ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.

Beautiful and moving. When artists come out with songs like this, you know that we all carry the same pain in our hearts at one time or another. Who doesn't experience a drifting from your beloved one? The sad reality that sometimes parting ways is best though its not always easy or desired...I love music. *sigh*...Reminds me of Eccl 3 where it mentions there is a time to give up what is lost.

Good morning and good night ..for real this time haha ...Love, J.

If It Means A Lot To You

And hey darling,
I hope you're good tonight.
And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving.
Yeah, I want it but no, I don't need it.
Tell me something sweet to get me by,
'Cause I can't come back home till they're singing

La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing

If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear to you that we can make this last.
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.
Well it might be for the best.

And hey sweetie,
Well I need you here tonight,
And I know that you don't wanna be leaving me
Yeah, you want it, but I can't help it.
I just feel complete when you're by my side,
But I know you can't come home till they're singing

La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing.
La, la la la, la la la.

If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear to you that we can make this last.
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.
Well it might be for the best.

You know you can't give me what I need.
And even though you mean so much to me,
I can't wait through everything,
Is this really happening?
I swear I'll never be happy again.
And don't you dare say we can just be friends.
I'm not some boy that you can sway.
We knew it'd happen eventually.

La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody's singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody's singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(If you can wait till I get home)
Now everybody's singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(Then I swear we can make this last)
Now everybody's singing.

La, la la la, la la la,
(If you can wait till I get home)
Now everybody's singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(Then I swear we can make this last)
Now everybody's singing.
La

Hey stranger...

I realize it's been a while since I've last been here...and that is what we would call laziness on Justina's part!!! hahaha Its a wonderful state of being that every creature should aspire to at some point in life... But really, I was in my room hiding away from the rest of the world, debating whether or not I should rejoin the rest of society as much as I was enjoying my seclusion and sleep.
Nothing eventful or of consequence has happened as of late. Its been a dull and somewhat depressing week thus far but I think the rest of it shall turn around...either way I'm gonna change my attitude haha..GLASS HALF FULL. I have this thing where I'm always waiting for the bottom to drop out... because it usually does. I was talking to Rene and Kim about it and both of them basically said, "Just be grateful, accept it for what it is, and don't feel that way because that's how Satan wants you to feel. Don't look for the negative because you will find it. Always try to see things as the 'glass half full'". My life is going so well lately - for the most part - and I just don't feel I deserve it. Like I'm not worth it, ya know?
But anywho, Sunday was sooooo much fun! AH HA! There's a positive right there lol - good times with great people. The Holms girls (and Joanna haha) have friends from all over! I met people from Seatle, Florida, Vermont, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, and Tennesee. I can't wait to visit them all. It was Elizabeth Holm and Jon's (can't think of his last name lol) Wedding Shower. Bill Fage did his square dancing as he is so well known for. Everyone had such a lovely evening - human pyramids dicate automatically that it was a beyond AWSOME night lmbo - and are very happy for the soon-to-bes. I will definitely miss Elizabeth when she leaves for Africa to do International Construction. (SOOO JEALOUS! THATS MY #1 GOAL...besides pioneering of course)
Well, service tomorrow. Picking up Jenni's car. Errands. Work Friday morning. Hopefully see some friends Friday if one of them recovers from like their tenth! concussion lol. Work again Sat and Sunday. (Noticing a pattern yet? hehe)
Enjoy the pics! Goodnight everyone. Love, Me

Good times ,,

Tonight was amazing, best time in quite a while. I'll write more about it tomorrow. Lil too tired and sore tonight.
Love, Me

mehhhh

First time I'm in bed before 1 am in a long time..amazing. Work first thing. Night world. Love. Me

Behind these green eyes...

I was just thinking, while waiting for my dinosaur of a laptop to load, about things I've done that I CAN'T BELIEVE I actually did...Things that I never imagined myself doing. Heinous things. And then I glanced across the room to a picture of me all smiles with our CO's wife, Angela...And I just think, "Wow. If only people knew what was behind that smile and those eyes, how would they react? They would most likely think twice before getting to know me." It's absolutely mind boggling how our "skeletons in the closet" can be so well concealed that people sometimes never find out they are there. No one can see how contorted and damaged I am internally. Plaster a smile upon my face and the world will never know what lies behind these green eyes.

"Sow this up with threads of reason and regret so I will not forget...."

"....they pained even the Holy One of all Israel..."

What have I done???

Sooo I discovered something amazing tonight whilst cleaning my room...no not money in my jeans that I was about to wash!! lol Its a music compilation called "Punk Goes Pop". There are actually 3 volumes and its mainly bands that I love. So I was pretty happy about that.
Today was a good day. Didn't make it out in service like I had planned but it was still productive nonetheless. (completely random but boy oh boy!!! does Asiago cheese have a major affect on me Bahhahaha!) Gave Marshalls my new availabilty of once a month now - only keeping it for the discount. Found an awsome shirt there for my Woodstock partayy along with a dress for Elizabeth Holm's Wedding. Ran to Old Navy to pick up a polo for work. Saw Mom on my way out of Blackstone..Smoking a cigarette, how lovely - "Old habits die hard." Then headed straight to work. Work was decent. Finally finished the agonizing computer training and worked as a cashier in the bakery. The girl who was training me - Annoying Amanda from Panera hahahaha I crack myself up, yes that rhymed on purpose lol - was checking out Andrew Mundt allllllll night and can I just say it was quite obnoxious. I wanted to smack her so badddddd but I reeled it back a bit lol. Came home after work and chatted with Joan Gilcrest and then cleaned my room. My bedroom was definitely in need of some TLC after this week's neglect.
Service tomorrow along with a few errands and then work til close. I'm already working like crazy hahaha but that is a very good thing. No stressing about bills left unpaid. Hopefully all my tax money is in the bank...Pretty excited for that. Oh! And I recieved a letter stating that I qualified for EBT. Life is beautiful right now and I'm so happy and content...Onward & Upward. Moving on and I'm never looking back at the past...Screw those who want to bring me down by shoving my mistakes in my face. I only bring it up because it happened today at work. I hate when people ask questions about it or even bring it up at all. I've moved on and so should the rest of the world.....

1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has taken you except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out in order for you to be able to endure it."


1. What Goes Around... - Alesana (Justin Timberlake cover)
2. Apologize - Silverstein (One Republic cover)
3. ...Baby One More Time - August Burns Red (Britney Spears cover)
4. When I Grow Up - Mayday Parade (The Pussycat Dolls cover)
5. Over My Head - A Day To Remember (The Fray cover)
6. Smooth - Escape The Fate (Santana cover)
7. Ice Box - There For Tomorrow (Omarion cover)
8. Flagpole Sitta - Chiodos (Harvey Danger cover)
9. Beautiful Girls - Bayside (Sean Kingston cover)
10. See You Again - Breathe Carolina (Miley Cyrus cover)
11. Disturbia - The Cab (Rihanna cover)
12. Toxic - A Static Lullaby (Britney Spears cover)
13. Love Song - Four Year Strong (Sara Bareilles cover)
14. I Kissed A Girl - Attack Attack! (Katy Perry cover)