Wouldn't You Like to Know?

How old are you today? 19! Almost done with the teensss

Have you ever dyed your hair? Of courseeee but im letting it go back to my natural color

What is the last movie you watched? Anastatia haha the kids movie

How do you vent anger? Listen to music really loud, get in whatever car i have and speed, call someone or text

What was your favorite childhood toy? ohh thats tough baseball mit and ball

What is on the floor of your closet? shoes boxes laundry basket

What are you most afraid of? Losing my integrity and not being loved

What is your favorite kind of dog? ummm husky or jack russel terrier

Favorite day of the week? I dont have one

You’re offered your own late night talk show. If it were completely up to you, what would you the name of the show to be? "Let me rock your socks off" hahahahaha

Which actor or actress would you want as your first guest? these are all tough questions hahaha Adam Sandler


Can you drive a stick shift? Sadly no but I'm dying to learn.


Which comedian would you want as your first comedy performer? Mitch Hedberg

Which musician or group would you want to be the first musical performer on your show? ben gibbard or city&colour

Which existing song or melody would you select for your theme song if writing something specifically for your show wasn’t an option? Swing Life Away Rise Against

Suppose you could magically go back in time and bring back any performer of any kind, living or dead, to be your first guest: who would you select? Audrey Hepburn!

What's your favorite thing to add vinegar to? um eww

What's something weird you've added to normal food? Im not a fan of putting abnormal things on my food...

Do you think before you speak? I try...but it doesnt always work out so well

Does it make you mad when people stare at you? only if theyre creepers ha

Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you? Not at all. usually im the stranger sayin hello hhahha

Are you listening to music right now? nope

What’s your most memorable dream? i have 2..being pushed into a volcano before my baptism and seeing my mother murdered by my Step dad

How many cell phones have you had in your life so far? 4 or 5

Did your parents spoil you as a child? in a way but we lacked what we truly needed from them :,/

Will this weekend be a good one? Hope so!

What are you craving right now? Zzzzzz's.

Have you cried today at all? um yes actually im so overtired

Would you rather get up early or sleep in? Once Im asleep I like to stay that way.

Do you use chapstick? all the time. gotta keep these puckers soft hehe

Are you wearing shorts at the moment? nope that would be last sunday. yes i know its february ha

What is your favorite thing to shop for? music or accessories

What are you listening to at the moment? ppl being loud

Which is worse – being too hot in bed or too cold? umm both are rough

What is the nearest green object to you? a pic frame

Has anything strange happened to you in the past week? not really

What was the last thing you put in your mouth? hahaha wow .. hehehehehe...sherbert

What was the last picture you took of? me and Kyle Poy

Do you wriggle in bed so much that you wake up facing a different way to how you started? hahaha i used to be like that every night.. you cant even imagine how much of a fidgeter i used to be

Do you like yourself? I'm happy to say I do. Obv always things I would like to change but I know Im decent

Are you a girly girl? pssshh if you only knew me...i can def be but not really ...tomboy at heart

Big or small purses? everythings better when its bigger hahahahahahaha

Who was the last person that you cried in front of? Jenni :b

Have you ever crawled through a window? yesss ahaha i was devious and sneaky ..about a year ago

Does coffee wake you up? Nope.doesnt have the same affect it used to

Look behind you, what do you see? A desk

Have you ever worked in a food place? Yep! I work at Panera haha

Do you wear your seat belt in the car? with the way I crash? hecks yes could save my life

Are you happy right now? almost completely just need a car

What do you normally do last thing before going to bed? pray take contacts out and watch an episode of my fav show on the laptop

Do you hurt anywhere? anywhere? try everywhere!!!

Have you smiled today? yep why i cant remember..ahh yes i was stuffing yummy vietnames food into my mouth hahaha

Have you ever had Mike's Hard Lemonade? oh yes me likee

Do you have an iPhone? psshh overrated crap

What was your biggest night time fear as a child?
my dark closet and the dark

How old will you be in four years? 23.5

How old do people normally guess you are? early twentties

How many windows are open on your computer? 2 google and my blog

Is there any jewelery [sic] you always wear? earrings always

Are you a mean person? i can be without meaning to ..hate that

Would you rather have ice cream or cake for dessert? Ice cream cake.. how bout that

This time last year, do you remember who you were dating? umm no i was actually newly broken up

Have you ever had a recurring dream? yeah one i wish would go away..running away from Cindy

What’s under your bed? roller blades, tennis rackets, storage, shoes

Strung Out

I haven't really had the time to blog as much as I would like to as of late. But here's whats new in the life of a "teenager turned adult too soon".
Working like crazy! My body's aching like crazy! Wishing someone would call me like crazy!!! (Which he hasn't!)Lacking sleep which is making me a wee bit grumpy..well more than a wee bit Bahahahaha Desperately needing some good spiritual sustenance along with a reliable car. Miss being in the ministry every other day :/ Had a great time in Natick last night. Cant wait for the 50's party this Friday. Ummm what else..hmmm lemme think wishing one of my friends would come back to the truth. Me thinks I might be going a little crazy..Well I think that s it. For now. Unbearable Sunday morning at Panera is what I look forward to next. night world love, me

Eishhhhh

Ok while I so appreciate having a job, my body does not.4:30am is the time I will be dragging myself out of bed tomorrow morning and it was 6am today. boy oh boy do I feel like an adult. Hahaha anywho better get cracking on what I need to accomplish before bed since I'll be hitting the hay quite early tonight. Adios Everyone.
Love, Me

Always a kid at heart...

I may be nearly twenty years old but I still enjoy cuddling up in bed with a cup of hot cocoa and watching an old disney classic such as The Little Mermaid. Its the perfect movie day - a dreary grim sky and no plans at all. Although I will be studying shortly and getting ready for my meeting. But after that, I will be back in bed to delight in some more classics. I bid thee farewell. Haha
Love, Me

Ughhh, What's a girl to do?

Now look at us. Now we have drifted away
Into deep, darkened shadows of our life yesterday.

You're no longer in touch. You drifted and went
Into a new life of happiness where you were sent.
But my memories of us will always remain
And at this very moment I still carry your name.

I wish you the best. My love to you, dear.
And I'll hold close those memories of the two of us near

*But now I am moving on...Making room in my heart for someone else

My knees start to shake
When you're in sight
My mind is filled with wonder
My heart with fright.

When will this feeling stop?
When did it start?
How can i listen to my mind,
without breaking my heart?

I'm so confused
What should I do?
I can't think of anything
Except you.

Should I ignore you,
or just give it time?
I can't think straight,
I won't allow this treacherous
heart to control my mind.

I see skies of blue....Louis Armostrong had it right

Hello readers! I'm happy to report that as previously predicted, my week changed for the better. The last three days have been quite exceptional. A little bit of stress of course but what would life be without something to make us whince and complain ? ....oh right! That would be the New System of things hahaha
(Details of the passing time to follow - I promise)
But I should be going as I have a room to finish moving around and organizing...Its quite a project let me tell you!
Ohhhhh btw, buying things off the Internet absolutely sucks! The pictures are positively decieving. "Nothing is as it seems!!!" Hahaha Buyers Beware for as many times as you enter that Debit/Credit Card #, you are being made a fool without even the slightest recognition. Bahahahaha
As Always
Love, Moi

The Ice Is Getting Thinner

We're not the same, dear, as we used to be.
The seasons have changed and so have we.
There was little we could say, and even less we could do
To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you.

We bury our love in the wintery grave
A lump in the snow was all that remained.
But we stayed by its side as the days turned to weeks
And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak.

And when spring arrived
We were taken by surprise when the floes under our feet bled into the sea
And nothing was left for you and me.

We're not the same, dear,
And it seems to me
There's nowhere we can go
With nothing underneath.
And it saddens me to say
But we both know, well, it's true
That the ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.
The ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.

Beautiful and moving. When artists come out with songs like this, you know that we all carry the same pain in our hearts at one time or another. Who doesn't experience a drifting from your beloved one? The sad reality that sometimes parting ways is best though its not always easy or desired...I love music. *sigh*...Reminds me of Eccl 3 where it mentions there is a time to give up what is lost.

Good morning and good night ..for real this time haha ...Love, J.

If It Means A Lot To You

And hey darling,
I hope you're good tonight.
And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving.
Yeah, I want it but no, I don't need it.
Tell me something sweet to get me by,
'Cause I can't come back home till they're singing

La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing

If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear to you that we can make this last.
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.
Well it might be for the best.

And hey sweetie,
Well I need you here tonight,
And I know that you don't wanna be leaving me
Yeah, you want it, but I can't help it.
I just feel complete when you're by my side,
But I know you can't come home till they're singing

La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing.
La, la la la, la la la.

If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear to you that we can make this last.
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.
Well it might be for the best.

You know you can't give me what I need.
And even though you mean so much to me,
I can't wait through everything,
Is this really happening?
I swear I'll never be happy again.
And don't you dare say we can just be friends.
I'm not some boy that you can sway.
We knew it'd happen eventually.

La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody's singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody's singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(If you can wait till I get home)
Now everybody's singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(Then I swear we can make this last)
Now everybody's singing.

La, la la la, la la la,
(If you can wait till I get home)
Now everybody's singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(Then I swear we can make this last)
Now everybody's singing.
La

Hey stranger...

I realize it's been a while since I've last been here...and that is what we would call laziness on Justina's part!!! hahaha Its a wonderful state of being that every creature should aspire to at some point in life... But really, I was in my room hiding away from the rest of the world, debating whether or not I should rejoin the rest of society as much as I was enjoying my seclusion and sleep.
Nothing eventful or of consequence has happened as of late. Its been a dull and somewhat depressing week thus far but I think the rest of it shall turn around...either way I'm gonna change my attitude haha..GLASS HALF FULL. I have this thing where I'm always waiting for the bottom to drop out... because it usually does. I was talking to Rene and Kim about it and both of them basically said, "Just be grateful, accept it for what it is, and don't feel that way because that's how Satan wants you to feel. Don't look for the negative because you will find it. Always try to see things as the 'glass half full'". My life is going so well lately - for the most part - and I just don't feel I deserve it. Like I'm not worth it, ya know?
But anywho, Sunday was sooooo much fun! AH HA! There's a positive right there lol - good times with great people. The Holms girls (and Joanna haha) have friends from all over! I met people from Seatle, Florida, Vermont, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, and Tennesee. I can't wait to visit them all. It was Elizabeth Holm and Jon's (can't think of his last name lol) Wedding Shower. Bill Fage did his square dancing as he is so well known for. Everyone had such a lovely evening - human pyramids dicate automatically that it was a beyond AWSOME night lmbo - and are very happy for the soon-to-bes. I will definitely miss Elizabeth when she leaves for Africa to do International Construction. (SOOO JEALOUS! THATS MY #1 GOAL...besides pioneering of course)
Well, service tomorrow. Picking up Jenni's car. Errands. Work Friday morning. Hopefully see some friends Friday if one of them recovers from like their tenth! concussion lol. Work again Sat and Sunday. (Noticing a pattern yet? hehe)
Enjoy the pics! Goodnight everyone. Love, Me

Good times ,,

Tonight was amazing, best time in quite a while. I'll write more about it tomorrow. Lil too tired and sore tonight.
Love, Me

mehhhh

First time I'm in bed before 1 am in a long time..amazing. Work first thing. Night world. Love. Me

Behind these green eyes...

I was just thinking, while waiting for my dinosaur of a laptop to load, about things I've done that I CAN'T BELIEVE I actually did...Things that I never imagined myself doing. Heinous things. And then I glanced across the room to a picture of me all smiles with our CO's wife, Angela...And I just think, "Wow. If only people knew what was behind that smile and those eyes, how would they react? They would most likely think twice before getting to know me." It's absolutely mind boggling how our "skeletons in the closet" can be so well concealed that people sometimes never find out they are there. No one can see how contorted and damaged I am internally. Plaster a smile upon my face and the world will never know what lies behind these green eyes.

"Sow this up with threads of reason and regret so I will not forget...."

"....they pained even the Holy One of all Israel..."

What have I done???

Sooo I discovered something amazing tonight whilst cleaning my room...no not money in my jeans that I was about to wash!! lol Its a music compilation called "Punk Goes Pop". There are actually 3 volumes and its mainly bands that I love. So I was pretty happy about that.
Today was a good day. Didn't make it out in service like I had planned but it was still productive nonetheless. (completely random but boy oh boy!!! does Asiago cheese have a major affect on me Bahhahaha!) Gave Marshalls my new availabilty of once a month now - only keeping it for the discount. Found an awsome shirt there for my Woodstock partayy along with a dress for Elizabeth Holm's Wedding. Ran to Old Navy to pick up a polo for work. Saw Mom on my way out of Blackstone..Smoking a cigarette, how lovely - "Old habits die hard." Then headed straight to work. Work was decent. Finally finished the agonizing computer training and worked as a cashier in the bakery. The girl who was training me - Annoying Amanda from Panera hahahaha I crack myself up, yes that rhymed on purpose lol - was checking out Andrew Mundt allllllll night and can I just say it was quite obnoxious. I wanted to smack her so badddddd but I reeled it back a bit lol. Came home after work and chatted with Joan Gilcrest and then cleaned my room. My bedroom was definitely in need of some TLC after this week's neglect.
Service tomorrow along with a few errands and then work til close. I'm already working like crazy hahaha but that is a very good thing. No stressing about bills left unpaid. Hopefully all my tax money is in the bank...Pretty excited for that. Oh! And I recieved a letter stating that I qualified for EBT. Life is beautiful right now and I'm so happy and content...Onward & Upward. Moving on and I'm never looking back at the past...Screw those who want to bring me down by shoving my mistakes in my face. I only bring it up because it happened today at work. I hate when people ask questions about it or even bring it up at all. I've moved on and so should the rest of the world.....

1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has taken you except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out in order for you to be able to endure it."


1. What Goes Around... - Alesana (Justin Timberlake cover)
2. Apologize - Silverstein (One Republic cover)
3. ...Baby One More Time - August Burns Red (Britney Spears cover)
4. When I Grow Up - Mayday Parade (The Pussycat Dolls cover)
5. Over My Head - A Day To Remember (The Fray cover)
6. Smooth - Escape The Fate (Santana cover)
7. Ice Box - There For Tomorrow (Omarion cover)
8. Flagpole Sitta - Chiodos (Harvey Danger cover)
9. Beautiful Girls - Bayside (Sean Kingston cover)
10. See You Again - Breathe Carolina (Miley Cyrus cover)
11. Disturbia - The Cab (Rihanna cover)
12. Toxic - A Static Lullaby (Britney Spears cover)
13. Love Song - Four Year Strong (Sara Bareilles cover)
14. I Kissed A Girl - Attack Attack! (Katy Perry cover)

You keep me warm...thus I love you !

Sometimes I just wish I could sleep forever. I quite love my sleep. Even though it doesn't always come when I want it to. Flipping insomnia and lack of time to accomplish all the things you would like to do in a day....Just imagine...In the New System, I'll have time for everything and anything! Including getting as much well-rested sleep as I so desire. Its about time that I wash my face, brush my teeth, and call it a nigh...Goodnight World. Love, Me

Its been a hard days night...

1:10 a.m. and its the first time I'm actually able to sit down and chillax a bit...Good grief. I've been non-stop since 3 p.m. when work started.
Listening to "A Day To Remember - Downfall of Us All" while blogging. First time I've heard this song and I'm loving ittttttt.
Anywho...Slept over Jenni's last night. Family study with Jenni and Winthrop this morning which was very lovely seeing as how it's usually just lil me alone. We read an '88 WT article that dealt with Micah 6:8. I really appreciated discussing loyalty to Jehovah. Loyalty is a relic to those in the world but it should never become a relic if we are a servant of Jehovah. Its not something to be placed on a shelf and forgotten about but rather its a quality that will cement us to Jehovah and make us desirable to others...After family study, coffee and fast food run ahaha
Worked from 3 - 10 p.m. And it was so much better than Marshalls!!!!! I actually felt productive and happy...I didn't have to watch people spend money on material things they didn't need nor have the money for to begin with. Now that! is what I would call refreshing lol
After work, I was talking to this girl, Amanda. Just music talk and she gave me a list of bands to check out:
1. A Day To Remember - Downfall of us all
2. Against Me - Thrash on Wheel & Don't Loose Touch
3. Ludo - Love Me Dead
4. The Maine
5. Bayside - Don't Call Me Peanut
6. Armor For Sleep
Anywho...At the end of each night, we get to take whatever is left over in the bakery. And boy did I take advantage of that! Whoever's out in service tomorrow, they're going to love me for sure!!! lol I grabbed as many good things as possible to hand out tomorrow. I was pretty excited at the prospect of free food haha Panera's oatmeal raisin cookies are awsome! And so is pretty much everything else hahaha
All in all? A GREAT DAY..long and tiring but great. I'm glad its finally over. Almost 2 a.m. and I need to be up for 7 a.m. YAYYYYY ME! BLAHHHH

WOODSTOCK 1969

Hosts: Ashden Ras and Justina Larocque

Date: April 3, 2010

Time: 4:30 - 10:30 p.m.

Location: Southwick, MA

Description: A bunch of hippies getting together to enjoy music and companionship along with dancing, Twister, and other festivities

Artists Featured: Jimi Hendrix, The Grateful Dead, The Who, Janis Joplin and more!

Expected Attendance: 35 or more

Desired Affect: hahahaha

snowwwwwwwww ...well it is New England hahaha

So I'm sitting here at 9:10 p.m. with Jenni planning my WOODSTOCK 1969 party. I'm pretty excited for that. I'm hosting it with my friend Ashden. Its snowing outside and coming down fast. I'll blog more tomorrow. I dont wanna be rude to Jenni..although she is on the phone...Hahahaha. anywho ..we are about to watch "Amelia" with Hillary Swank. It should be good! Have a good night all and to you fellow New Englanders, enjoy shoveling yourself out tomorrow!!! Love, Me

Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you

Ahhh a good, decent day...I'm super content and happy right now. Woke up, laid in bed for prolly an hour than got ready for my first day at Panera Bread. I headed out early, full of anticipation and excitement. Upon arrival, who do I see but Andrew Mundt. This is a kid that hates the ground I walk on from what I remember. lol. (I was the demise of a friendship between him and my ex bf...sorta..its complicated as is everything else in life) He was surprisingly civil. Andrew left shortly after I clocked in so I didn't have to worry too much about him. Basically orientation - paperwork with my manager Felipe along with some online training. Three hours passed quickly and before I knew it, it was time to rush to meeting. I felt like a loser though as I was ill-prepared for the meeting. (Something I'm trying to be better with but its a work in progress. I'm pretty much a work in progress. HAHA) Anywho...meeting was lovely. Rene and I were especially giddy tonight. Sean did such a wonderful job with his Bible highlights on Jepthah's daughter and the friends she choose to keep company with those 2 months on the mountain. Rene also had a part - the talk dealing with Revelation. Good times indeed. lol But she handled it nicely, explained it simply. My favorite point came from the "God's Love" book..It was something to the effect that Satan can't read our minds or hearts. That was so wonderful to hear because I always worried that he could and it would make it so easy for him to see what my weaknesses are..Rather, in order to discern our weaknesses, Satan has to observe our actions closely. How important, then that we are faithful in what is least so we can be faithful also in much. (Luke 16:10 - one of my favs back in the day lol).....raced Kori after meeting. Not sure if he realized it was me...Could've killed himself when he attempted and failed to pass me lol. Target for some necessities where I saw my freshmen History teacher, Mr. McGowan, who I had the biggeeeeesssst crush on lol. And yes he's still hot hahahaha
So I was just thinking about the fact that my lack of self control is something I've always struggled with. My personality is so extreme that finding balance and maintaining self control is such a challenge for me. Case and point: There are certain people I should avoid texting on a daily basis, for my benefit and their's. But in order for me to maintain control, I have to delete their number altogether and wait for them to contact me! How truly sad!!! I'd rather do something extreme like that so then its not an issue, ya know what I mean? There is a scripture in Matthew that comes to mind. Matthew 5:29 If, now, that right eye of yours is making you stumble, tear it out and throw it away from you. For it is more beneficial to you for one of your members to be lost to you than for your whole body to be pitched into Ge·hen´na. 30 Also, if your right hand is making you stumble, cut it off and throw it away from you. For it is more beneficial to you for one of your members to be lost than for your whole body to land in Ge·hen´na.....Basically what I said above. I'd rather do something extreme if it means protecting me from my own self hahaha that totally makes more sense in my head. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that nothing, including myself, will encroach on my precious relationship with Jehovah God. He comes first, forever and for always
Well, I guess that's all for tonight! Service with Jenni and Winthrop in the morning then who knows what I shall be doing afterwards with the crazy snow storm supposedly coming.
Love,
Moi xoxo

Love how so often it seems, an artist can capture exactly what we are feeleing an going through...

Never Shout Never - Losin' It

All we ever did was move around.
I was always the new kid.
Never the cool kid.
But all I ever wanted to do was to fall in love.
Just to be in love.

But my heart was racing.
My mind was screaming,
"you've got your whole life to do these things."
But my legs were shaking.
My hands were searching for her
in the backseat of my car.
I just lost it,
and I can't believe that

I knew that I was only sixteen,
but I thought I loved her,
and it'd last forever.
But only if I knew
that she wasn't true.
How could she do this to me?

But my heart was racing.
My mind was screaming,
"you've got your whole life to do these things."
But my legs were shaking.
My hands were searching for her
in the backseat of my car.
I just lost it,
and I can't believe that.

Ooh...


Goodnight World...Au revoir mi amores

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Sooooooooooooo..I'm basking in excitement right now! And here's why..So you know how if we want Jehovah to answer our prayers, we should work in harmony with them so that Jehovah will bless our efforts? Well, since my hours at Marshalls got cut, I've been praying for a job to supplement Marshalls..and lets just say I don't feel that I was giving the job hunt my best effort. But today, I made a plan for myself that I would go out and drop resumes off at a few places and hope for the best...
In my pumps and blazer, I strut out of the house on a mission... I need to work hard to get a job! I need to not be so lazy and take the reins and be proactive with my life! I can't expect Jehovah to help me when I'm not even giving him anything to work with.
I hit up a cute coffee shop and some restaurants along with a tanning salon - 7 places total. (This is in addition to the online searching that I've been doing along with a sister's efforts to get me into CVS) Last place on my list? Panera Bread. I asked for an application, filled it out, gave it to the manager upon which he asked if I wanted to interview right then..Elated, I said yes of course! He asked me about my availability and my people skills...after just five minutes of talking back and forth, Felip (the manager) states that "he really likes me. Would I like to start tomorrow?" OMGOODNESS yes of course!!!! I called my uncle while the manager was getting my file together for some additional guidance and input from someone far more mature than me spiritually. Sean said it sounded great but just inquire about hours and pay.. which of course I did..What I'm getting is the answer to my prayers...It seems almost too good to be true! A scripture comes to mind ~ well a few actually haha..
Psalms 37:25 "A young man I used to be, I have also grown old, And yet I have not seen anyone righteous left entirely, Nor his offspring looking for bread."
Proverbs 3:5,6 "Trust in Jehovah with all your heart and do not lean upon your own understanding. In all your ways take notice of him, and he himself will make your path straight."
Matthew 6:31-33 "So never be anxious and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or, ‘What are we to drink?’ or, ‘What are we to put on?’ For all these are the things the nations are eagerly pursuing. For YOUR heavenly Father knows YOU need all these things. Keep on, then, seeking first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these [other] things will be added to YOU. "
When I put Jehovah first and look to him always for everything and anything...my life isn't made easier but with Jehovah, I'm able to handle it. He always gives me what I need and sometimes a little extra too as long as I do it his way..Do it Jehovah's way, and I'll always succeed (I've realized too many times the folly of trying to do things on my own)...I am so very grateful that I made that simple choice some years ago to get to know this loving being, Jehovah God. He proves time and again that with him by my side, I'll never falter nor meet with defeat.

Every day is a fresh start...

Good morning, good morning.
The birds are singing and so am I
Depsite the fact that my ears are ringing
and my mouth has run dry.

The wind blows cold in the world outside.
Here in my bed snuggled warm, I hide.
The alarm starts going off
at which I begin to scoff.

"Get up" it's beckoning.
In my cocoon, I am revelling.
But I thrash at the covers and growl.
I see the sun pour through my window
And instantly loose my scowl.

Silent and calm, I begin to pray
and thank Jehovah for another day.
Each day is a second chance and a fresh start.
This thought pushes me on and warms my heart.

-A J.M.L. original..just popped into my head this morning.

The way of the Truth is the best way of living...

A friend said this to me just a few minutes ago after giving them a synopsis of my life story (a new friend obviously lol) and I thought it was so refreshing to hear someone with a genuine spiritual view aside from what I recieve in the ministry each day..

"Wow. It goes to show people from any background and family can come to have a strong love for Jehovah and grow in the truth if they have the right heart and rely on him. I'm glad you've stuck with it. We all have our bumps in the road and somehow Jehovah is so gracious to us through it all and draws us. Knowing that he sees the good in us and our potential..It's a little bit.. heart stopping and unbelievable."

Underneath It All

Ok, so I'm gonna pull a 'Tyra Banks' (if you know her show at all, you'll understand what I'm referrencing) and show you what I look like without any makeup or hair product...Real as it gets..These pics were taken a few hours ago..I think its important that we accept ourselves as we truly and really are, both inside and out. I'm happy to say I've reached a point in my life where I love myself, who I am, and who I'm becoming. Everyone reaches this realization at some point...some early on and others not for a while...Nonetheless, I'm content on this plateau of self-assuredness. Embrace the positives and see past the flaws

A Good Friend...

Just got back from a relaxing - aside from the time spent playing the Wii haha - time at my friend Jenni's. She's one of my new besties. We talked about everything and anything and laughed alot..which is something I love...

"Friends are special people. We can't pick our family, and we're sorely limited in the number of them at any rate. Society and mores (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate. But our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the adjectives we choose. Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life."

You
by Peter Finlayson
When you are sad,and you feel you can't go on.Tears well in your eyesand the pain is so strong.So far from your friends,and you're all on your own.No-one to run to,So very alone.When all seems so useless,and you can't take anymore.As you put on your coat,and head for the door.Remember.......I was there once,lost, all aloneYou can cry in my ear,Just pick up the phone.When you are lonely and feeling so blueSomeone is thinking ...thinking of you

"Hide And Seek"

Where are we?

What the hell is going on?

The dust has only just begun to fall,

Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.

Spin me round again and rub my eyes.

This can't be happening.

When busy streets a mess with peoplewould stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.

Trains and sewing machines.

All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls

Where pleasure moments hung before.

The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this still life.

Hide and seek.

Trains and sewing machines.

(Oh, you won't catch me around here)

Blood and tears,

They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?

Mm, that you only meant well?

Well, of course you did.

Mmm, what you say?

Mm, that it's all for the best?

Ah of course it is.

Mmm, what you say?

Mm, that it's just what we need?

And you decided this.

Mmm what you say?

What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.

Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.

Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.

You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.

Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.

Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.

You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.You don't care a bit.You don't care a bit.You don't care a bit.You don't care a bit.You don't care a bit.

This is theme song in my life right now...that and Paper Wings by Rise Against thanks to a certain someone (you know who you are lol). I'm just now at a point in my life where I've finally gotten over the first relationship I was ever in...The relationship lasted almost 2 years and it was definitely an affair to remember. But it did not end so well and everything was pretty much left unsettled and up in the air...To say there was "no closure" is an understatement. But I've finally come to terms with everything and despite the fact that he never respected or loved me enough to let me know where we stand, I'm no longer waiting for him to reappear in my life. I love where Immi says "you decided this." Apparently, he thought he could just leave me hanging and that was something acceptable ..when it completely wasn't. *Sigh* Nonetheless, I'm okay and don't need that closure as much as I wanted it...I wish him the best in all he chooses to do and I hope he reaches the potential I know he has. He will always hold a place in my heart but "there's a train leaving town in an hour..
it's not waiting for him, and neither am I."

"The wind brought a lot of change to the endless sky above my head. Everything was swept by those strong and relentless winds of change. So our lives are changed by similar winds, always moving and growing. Just as we have the clear moonlight and stars, we also have the storm clouds." Patricia Bliss, 1993

Sunday and I'm missing the meeting because I'm such a louse. Ill listen in and do my laundry
ughhh ..waking up at 1:36p.m. is not kosher!..I seriously need to change that.

Mayday at 5:30 am

"Three Cheers For Five Years"
I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
To late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same
I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering
And I will always remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always remember now
Sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
How does he feel, how does he kiss
How does he taste while he's on your lips
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you
I want to
But I can't forgive you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
can't forgive you
I know you want me to want you I want to

"We will fold and freeze together
Far away from here
There is sun and spring and green forever
But now we move to feel
For ourselves inside some stranger's stomach
Place your body here
Let your skin begin to blend itself with mine"

Hello World

My very first blog..be prepared folks for I am not that interesting in the least haha nor will my posts be interesting. But if I am able to conjure up a laugh or a tear, then my mission has been accomplished in sharing my thoughts.

Here is a wee bit of information about me. I care deeply about the people I love and what matters to them. I love helping others, having fun, and being happy...not having a stick up my bum, ya kno? Anywho..what it basically comes down to is this...I'm a girl just trying to get through this life with some dignity and grace intact. Love me or hate me - those are the only options.